...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
He did a backflip because drugs
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