Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
Did we literally take a cab across the street
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
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