We're facebook friends in real life
So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
Randomize
