I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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