last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
Randomize