My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
Randomize
