I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
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