you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
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