I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
