I think I can smell my own vagina right now
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
We just shotgunned beers for America
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
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