I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
