Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Randomize
