I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
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