So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Randomize
