There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
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