i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
I woke up under a house in Key West
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
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