Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
Randomize
