ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Randomize
