yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
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