my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize
