Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
There r osticjed everywhere
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
Randomize
