hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
