The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
Randomize
