Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
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