i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Randomize
