You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
I am one with the molecules
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
Randomize
