youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
Randomize
