We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
