cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
The idiot babysitter thought my dildo was a teething toy and gave it to our child.
Did you put it in the freezer again?
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
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After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
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Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
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