i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
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I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
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Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
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