Yo dont text me then not text me
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
Randomize
