You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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