Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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