In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
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