Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
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