They have a pepper shaker for pot.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
