Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
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