and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Randomize
