if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
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we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
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Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
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