And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
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