we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Randomize
