my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
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