went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
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