Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
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