They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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