i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
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Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
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I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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