For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
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