yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
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He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
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I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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