Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
Randomize
