Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
You were trust falling into bushes
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
Randomize
