im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Randomize
