You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
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