no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
