i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
Randomize
