fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
