i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
Randomize
