she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
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