just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
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