..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
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