Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Randomize
