yo everyone went to the hospital last night
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
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