omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
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