can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
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