i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize
