Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
I got chris browned last night
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
Randomize
