I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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