yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize
