remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
Randomize
